Top 10 Things I Love About Toronto

Over a year since I’ve blogged??? Good Lord. Well, I need to change that.

So in the spirit of counting blessings – which I’m reminded that I need to do more of – I’m going to try and blog about the good things in my life. And one of those is something I take for granted every day: the city in which I live. I always tell people how much I love Toronto and some agree and others don’t understand what there is to love about the city many people call The Big Smoke. Well, a lot, as it turns out. It’s more than just traffic congestion and people going too fast to enjoy what they’ve got here. Without further ado, here is my Top Ten Things I Love about Toronto list.

#10
The villages within the city: Bloor West Village, Chinatown, Little Italy, Little Portugal, The Kingsway, Leaside, Greektown. You name it and Toronto’s got it. These villages within the city make the city feel more vibrant and less anonymous.

#9
The ravines. Toronto is a city of creeks and rivers that snake through the city and help break up the concrete jungle. Once you follow along a footpath and hear the rushing stream beside you it’s like you are transported into the country.

#8
The parks. From the huge (High Park) to the small neighbourhood parks dotted throughout the city we have a lot of green in this city. Not enough downtown parks for sure but there is still a lot of space to run around in if you need it.

#7
It’s on the water! We sometimes forget that we have Lake Ontario on our doorstep. But the bike paths along the water remind us that we are not surrounded only by skyscrapers and asphalt.

#6
Theatre! Thank God for the Mirvish family and all the other theatrical productions both professional and amateur that dot our city. I’ve seen productions here that could and do rival some Broadway productions.

#5
The Shopping. Seriously, from the discount to the high end you don’t have to travel far to get what you need.

#4
World renowned hospitals. Hypochondriac that I am I appreciate knowing I’m only minutes away from some of the best health care in the country, if not the world. Anyone with kids thanks the heavens every day for The Hospital for Sick Children. You name the illness and we’ve got a hospital that specializes in treating it. Go Toronto!

#3
Sports teams. Okay, I may not be a Blue Jays or Maple Leaf’s fan but I appreciate the fact that we have a centre big enough to accommodate that kind of entertainment.

#2
Transportation. Specifically Pearson International Airport, the Island Airport and the TTC. Seriously, I love having an airport in the city where I live. I’m only twenty minutes away from boarding a plane should I ever decide to make a last minute trip to the Bahamas or something. And taking the TTC every day into work allowed me to finish several books and spend every morning and evening commute reading instead of battling traffic. Sure it needs improvement and I hope it gets the money it needs but I’m a big fan.

And the number one reason that I love Toronto:

#1
The people. Again, seriously. We are a friendly city (despite our reputation for being snobs). For the most part we are a helpful, polite, peace-loving bunch. Sure, in a city of over 3 million people you are going to have problems (and I have seen some interesting things!) but after living here almost thirty years and having met some superb people in that time, we have an amazing bunch of people in this city.

I’m sure I could write a few more favourite things about it but I’ll stop with the top ten. What’s your favourite thing about T.O.?

Thoughts on Getting Older

Well, today is my birthday and, for once, I'm not totally bummed out.

This is kind of a big deal for me since this birthday is the one that ends a decade and that is usually the birthday that bums me out the most. It's not turning the big whatever-O (I still can't type the number) but it is the lead up to that big number that freaks me out. It's like my mind and body need a year of preparation before they can accept that I am, inevitably, getting older. But I've noticed that with each successive birthday in the last 20 years I'm getting better at dealing with this aging thing. So, for all of us hitting whatever big birthdays or just for those of us who struggle with the thought of getting older lets put some perspective on things. I offer you some of my favourite inspirational quotes on getting older from people much wiser than me. If they said it, I must believe it, yes?

Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. ~Leroy "Satchel" Paige

Nobody grows old merely by living a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals. Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. ~Samuel Ullman

Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been. ~Mark Twain
(Note from Nelsa: I've never actually seen my neck smile so this one's kinda bogus. Sorry, Mark.)

Old age isn't so bad when you consider the alternative. ~Maurice Chevalier, New York Times, 9 October 1960

Everyone is the age of their heart. ~Guatemalan Proverb

The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible. ~Judith Regan

Men do not quit playing because they grow old; they grow old because they quit playing. ~Oliver Wendell Holmes

Old wood best to burn, old wine to drink, old friends to trust, and old authors to read. ~Quoted by Francis Bacon, Apothegm

And with that last quote, I thank all my old (and new) friends for the birthday wishes today and their vital, constant friendship. I reach for a glass of good red wine and a favourite book and sit by an imaginary fireplace toasting my feet and this day. For birthdays are, indeed, to be celebrated not feared. Thank you all for celebrating with me!

What Keeps You Keeping On?

In the last week, I've heard the same thing from two different people: There's no point in looking back. That's not where you want to go anyway.

My husband is more succinct. He just says: I don't look back.

That philosophy, I believe, is the only thing that keeps a person's head from going below the water, from falling into the abyss, from whatever precipice you find yourself teetering on.

Don't look back.

Looking back, whether it is at past successes or failures, does nothing to help your present reality. If you keep dwelling on what has gone wrong (my instinctive go to reaction, unfortunately) it will only cement your negative thinking. Conversely, if you only think about all the wonderful things that have happened in the past, it will either make you crave more and bigger things (which can be good sometimes) or make you dissatisfied with what you have now (it's not as good as it was before!). Either way, you won't be happy.

So what's the answer?

Move forward. Keep your eye on the next day.

Or better yet.

Deal with today. Enjoy today. Make it through today. Make today count.

Because while the past may hold some answers, it can also hold you back.

In the most wise words of one of my favourite Pixar characters, Dorrie, from Finding Nemo: Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...

When Panic Hits - Keep Calm and Carry On

I thought I had things together. Figured that this past week when I was on vacation I'd get so much done before September hit. I would prepared. Yeah. What's that saying?? Something about best laid plans...?

Well, I woke up today, realized I was already two days into September and hit full blown panic mode.

Our house reno is so far behind I think it's in a different time zone.

My son's birthday is in two days and I haven't planned a thing!

I realize my MRI to look into this wonky back is scheduled the same day as son's said, unplanned birthday.

The four new toilets for the reno were delivered today but the guy wouldn't deliver them to the basement so had to put them in the garage where The Boy practices his hockey shots. I may have four new cracked toilets to put in the new still not finished house.

The Boy's hockey schedule firmed up and, yes, he has a tournament starting next Wednesday, going all weekend, and yes, he has one the same weekend as my mom's 75th birthday and, oh, yes, all his practices until November occur on Saturdays and Sundays too.

Our main computer got some weird virus so now all of us have to share my poor, overworked laptop until it's fixed (and I still haven't taken it in yet! School starts in four days!)

I'm still only half-way through my revision to the wip and still not sure it's working.

I have to write the dedication and acknowledgements for THE BREAK and the one, freaking line for the dedication is giving me more grief than writing the whole book. What is UP with that?

I'm only halfway through a beta read for a friend who I told I would get to it in a week and feeling very guilty about it.

And that's only the start of my panic. Let's not forget that I'm back to work next week and school starts too.

But you know how I get through the panic? I remember that all these things are small and the panic will soon pass. The Brits survived the Blitz and had the best saying ever to come out of a war: Keep Calm and Carry On.

It's all in the attitude. And remembering that there are way worse things happening to people who are handling true crises with grace, humour and way more courage than we shall ever know.

How are you all handling your busy lives? And how do you handle it when the panic hits?

How Do You Measure Success as a Writer?

When I began writing - almost nine years ago now! - I hadn't made any kind of plan, or listed my goals or anything that many writing organizations or professional coaches tell their clients to do when embarking on a business. I suppose it was because I didn't consider my writing to be a business. It was - and still is - my artistic outlet in a life filled with non-artistic pursuits (well, except for my kids. I think they're pretty awesome works of art, myself. :) But once you publish - heck, even way before you publish - people are constantly reminding you that this is a business. And to be successful in it - and why would you deliberately set out to fail? - then it does make sense to have some measures by which you, as a writer, can define whether you feel you've been successful. The issue is: what exactly are those measures?

Now I'm not talking about other peoples measures of success. Other people's definition of success is theirs and shouldn't be applied to you because, like everything in this business, it is subjective. One person might say someone is successful only when they've achieved the fame and numbers of books sold of a J.K. Rowling or Suzanne Collins. If that's your measure then great! But, personally, my measures have always been less 'out there' and maybe not as obvious in the typical business definition of success (i.e. money). For me, my measures have been to make my writing stronger and better with each book and to put myself 'out there' in the social network arena as much as I can without making myself overly-stressed and too uncomfortable. Is that it, you say? How puny those measures seem to be! But I could have kept my writing to myself - I kept a journal for many years and could have continued to do that. But I needed to stretch myself and the only way to do that was to have my writing put out there for others to see. One of the first measures of success was letting others read my work without getting physically ill over the thought. Got over that so Yay! Successful!! Then it was querying agents and letting them judge my work. Got over that so Yay! Success number two. Actually landing an agent? Wow, I'm feeling pretty successful. Go me. Getting a book published. A dream. No way. But it happened. Another measure of success attained. The biggest yet. Yes!

So, then, after all that, I must be successful, right? And, by my measures, I am. By others? Maybe not. I'm not a household name. I haven't sold a gajillion books. Or gotten a movie deal or ______ (insert your measure of success here). But I've met mostly all the measures of success I set out to do plus a few more like gotten good reviews, a second book contract, I'm in lots of public libraries, and I just learned that I earned out my advance. As a bonus my independent publisher is supportive and believes in my work and continues to champion all their authors works so I've had a lovely publishing experience with them. These may not be huge measures of success for others but they are for me. I believe myself to be successful for the place I'm in now. But, by the same token, my measures are constantly changing as life happens and circumstances change. After all, evolution is the only way to survive in life and in business.

But what is the one constant measure of success that I know will never change for me? Writing the best book I am capable of at the time. For me, writing is a marathon, not a sprint and the only measure of success that matters is set by me and not others.

What about you? How do you define your success as a writer?

Keeping Things in Perspective

Even though I didn't make any New Year's resolutions, I had high hopes that 2011 would start off with a fresh, positive outlook. Instead I've had a few days where a disappointment or two has dampened my enthusiasm and challenged me to keep my chin up and say, "hey, tomorrow is another day. Life is not as bad as you think. In fact it's pretty darned good." I hear heart wrenching stories about families who've lost loved ones and others who have so little and think, "There but for the grace of God go I..." So when these small - and I do mean small - disappointments (in people, in events) take place why is it sometimes so hard to shrug them off?

For me, keeping things in perspective is a constant battle. I am, truly, a very practical person and understand that sometimes people make mistakes, sometimes the world works a certain way and we have to accept that a certain journey is not always going to go smoothly. It may, for me, be a control issue. Many times, the disappointments that happen are out of my control, or belong to other people who I don't want to see hurt, and my heart breaks for them, and for my inability to 'fix it', to make it better for them. This is when I have to remind myself that I can only control my reaction to events - not the events themselves. For a control freak like me that is a really hard lesson to learn. It is a constant struggle to turn a negative into a positive and to not dwell on things and I'm in awe of those people who can remain upbeat in the most dire of circumstances.

Perhaps, this is just one of those things I will always need to work on and some days I may be able to do it. Other days it may slip from my grasp. But whatever day I happen to be living in, I need to remind myself that I have been blessed with a good life - not a perfect life - but a good life. And sometimes, I should just simply be thankful for it.

And Another Birthday Approaches

Tomorrow is my birthday and for the first time in a long while I'm not dreading seeing the years add up. Granted I always deal better with 'even' birthday years than 'odd' ones but I don't think that's the reason for my unusual celebratory mood this go round. This year I got some very nice news just before my birthday hit(hope to share more soon) plus my mom is continuing her recovery and now Daughter One has returned home from university and I'm just feeling a bit more celebratory all around. But I think it's also just becoming more used to the whole 'aging' thing and appreciating that the alternative isn't a heck of a lot better!

Now, don't get me wrong. Nobody wants to see their face sliding into their neck or anything and I use a boatload of creams and moisturizers like the next girl. It's not the physical side of aging that I've come to terms with (in fact I've done something to the muscles in my neck that are just killing me today and I'm popping Robaxacet like it's candy) but it's more about enjoying and appreciating the mental aging. I just feel very comfortable with where my head's at these days. And I attribute that to discovering my passion for writing over eight years ago.

Writing has been my own personal fountain of youth - and not just because I write for teens (though I think that helps). It has allowed me to experience so many different things, meet so many different people, hope for so many different futures. Even with all the waiting, even with all the agony of writing books that sometimes go nowhere, even with the fickleness of the business, discovering writing relatively later in my life has given me new energy and, a lot of times, just more 'fun'.

So, with another birthday approaching, I'm embracing the coming year and looking forward to what new things I'll learn and what new people I'll meet. I know there'll be crappy days but with age, hopefully, comes some wisdom and I think I'm weathering those crappy days with a little more perspective every year. Each birthday is a gift and I plan on celebrating every one of them now instead of dreading them. Now if only my face would stay where I want it to... :)

Thankful Thursdays

I know I'm not the first blogger/writer to theme out one of their days to offer up some tidbits on what they have to be thankful for but I think it's about time I started. I've been trying to live life a bit more optimistically for me and after the last few days of worry about my mom's health I think it's a great time to offer up some thanks to the universe because karma has a way of following you and I need to highlight some things and people that just don't get enough credit.

I totally underappreciate my husband. He's a rock when I need him to be and he kept the homefires burning (without burning down the house) while I was gone this week.

The supportive torkidlit MG/YA writers group initiated by the fabulous Claudia Osmond. Even when I'm away I feel their support and, lo and behold, Claudia posted her interview with me this week and I barely had to lift a finger. I'm thrilled to be returning the favour and will be posting my interview with Claudia next Monday once I organize my life after being away for three days! Thank you Claudia and torkidlit!

I'm also thankful to be back in town for Cheryl Rainfield's book launch of SCARS tonight. She's doing a fabulous thing by having a charity affiliation with the all profits for Scars sold tonight going to the Toronto Rape Crisis Center/Multicultural Women Against Rape and Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network (RAINN). SCARS is about 15-year-old Kendra, a sexual abuse survivor who can't remember who abused her. When things get tough, she cuts herself to cope--but that only hurts her more. With the help of some people she loves, a good therapist, her art, and a friend who might just become her girlfriend, Kendra is able to face her past and to find healing.

Who can't help but be thankful when there's authors like that doing such good things in the world?

I'm also thankful and excited and a little sad to see my oldest daughter officially finish high school today and celebrate with her Prom. She is smart, beautiful and a joy in my life. I've been a lucky Mom to get to share this life with her and I know this is a significant ending and beginning point for the next part of her life. Congratulations, baby. Thank you for being such a fabulous first child.

And on that slightly weepy note, I will end my first Thankful Thursday. You know, they're right when they say to list out the things you're thankful for when you get overwhelmed, feel too tired to cope or are just in a bad mood. Life is good sometimes and we just need to remind ourselves of that once in a while. Hope you're having a thankful Thursday!

The Tsunami of Dread

I'm leaving for a quick visit home later this afternoon and, besides the usual dread I feel over the long, boring 4 hour drive to Harrow from Toronto, there's another layer of dread over top of this visit. My mom's surgery is scheduled for tomorrow morning. Mom was diagnosed with breast cancer two months ago so the long wait for surgery has been preying on all our nerves. I'm hopeful that the cancer has been caught early and that she'll only have to undergo a lumpectomy and radiation after. We'll only know for sure after they do the surgery. This will be the first major operation either of my parents has ever had and a whole slew of worries go through your mind. But with my mom's ever present anxiety no one speaks of them. Well, she speaks of them - often and to the point of obsession. But our job is to try and calm her down and keep the positive outlook on life that is so hard for her to maintain.

So it's been a good thing that I made a conscious effort this last year of trying to keep an optimistic outlook on life. I've needed it this past month to keep her dread level down. Thinking positively has worked in many ways and I've been blessed and fortunate in so many aspects but I am also a realist and life doesn't always run smoothly. Those niggling worries you try and suppress sometimes peak through and, if you don't nip those nasty little buggers quickly, all that hard won optimism is buried under a tsnuami of dread.

All I can do is keeping hoping for the best and maybe that tsunami will turn into a little wave lapping on the shore. Hope is fragile but it's tenacious and we couldn't navigate through life without it. Here's hoping all goes well and that we'll be back to our regularly scheduled blog filled with the ups and downs of a writer's journey through publication by Thursday. I'll let you know how we all coped. How about you? How do you all deal with worries and anxiety? Any tips and suggestions most welcome!

The Writers Most Important Question: "What If ...?"

Ah, yes. What if ...? The classic question that starts all fiction writers off on their novels. Asking 'What if ...?' provides endless possibilities for story lines. Of course, which direction you as a writer go in depends on the series of what if questions you pose.

"What if a young girl found out her parents had lied to her her whole life?"
"What if that girl finds out her whole family are illegal aliens?"
"What if she's deported?"
"What if she decides to try and get back home?"

All these 'what if' questions were what went through my mind when I thought about ILLEGALLY BLONDE. An endless array of 'what if's' that eventually led to the plot and character development of my story.

Now here's a twist on the 'what if' question.

'What if' you apply that question to your own life?

I was watching the Olympics on the weekend when Alexandre Bilodeau won the first Canadian gold on home soil ever. There was an interview with him and they spoke about how he prepared for the biggest event of his career as an athlete. He has an older brother with cerebral palsy who inspires him on a daily basis by working on defying people's expectations of him and what he can do. Alex Bilodeau thinks of his brother on those days when he just doesn't feel like going out on a cold, miserable day to practice skiing and he asks himself one question: What if I was told I could never ski?

Would he wish -like his brother probably does - that he had the opportunity to practice racing down a mountain in cold, miserable weather? You obviously can guess what Alex's answer was to the 'What if' question he poses to himself. Alex's answer is to appreciate the fact that he is able to ski - and be thankful for the opportunity to do so even in miserable, uncomfortable situations.

So the next time I find myself complaining about writing - like struggling through a WIP that seems to be stuck in neutral most days and my desire to avoid that struggle I'll ask myself "What if I was told I could never write another word?" What kind of person would I end up being? Would I be happy?

The answer - and the follow up questions - to that intial 'What if' question establish the plot line of my writing life and my own character development as an author. I am lucky enough to be able to write and I need to appreciate what I have through the hard times and the good.

Thank you, Mr. Bilodeau and all the amazing athletes who inspire us, by asking the most important question of all: 'What if...?"

10 Ways to Beat the February Blahs!

Back in October I gave the reasons why it's my favourite month. In the spirit of positivity I'm working hard to embrace I thought I'd try the same thing with my least favourite month - February.

I don't know why poor February has been relegated to last place in my Top Twelve Month listing but hmm, let me see...Cold. Winter. No Sun. Blahs.

Yeah. That last one. The February Blahs are the worst.

But let's see if I can turn that negative perception around by doing a positivity list and see how I feel by the end of it. They say, if you try hard enough, you can embrace even the most blahest of blah times. So here goes…

1. February is the shortest month of the year. Yay! Seriously, whoever developed the Roman calendar (that is the one we follow, right?) must have had a vision of poor, frozen souls shivering in Canada waiting for the sun to come back. So they said, "Hey! Let's make this month only 28 days!" A psychological trick but it works wonders.

2. Valentine's Day! Okay, I know it's a total marketing scam started by candy companies to sell chocolate truffles but who doesn't like to eat chocolate truffles?? And eating chocolate truffles with the one you love is always a mood lifter.

3. Winterlicious! Not sure if other cities besides Toronto have all their best restaurants open their doors with scrumptious meals at reasonable prices to get people to come out and eat in what would otherwise be a dreary month but it's a hit here in T.O. I've already gone to lunch and dinner at two different restaurants I don't normally frequent. Getting out of the office and the house and socializing makes this a great way to break the winter blahs. Go Winterlicious!

4. Family Day! Here in Ontario it's a new holiday on February 15. Kids are off school, government employees have the day off and so do some private businesses. A time to spend with the family doing nothing together or spend it going to the movies, skiing, skating - whatever it is you enjoy doing together. If you don't have a Family Day mandated where you live, why not mandate your own day. Play hooky and spend time with your kids! Definite blah breaker!

5.Chinese New year! The Chinese New Year starts on February 14 this year (Valentine's Day too - double celebration!) and, bonus, it's the Year of the Tiger! My year, baby! Tiger years promise to be chock full of excitement and energy - hopefully most of it good!

6. Surprises! Okay, that one is a little obscure but the last few years one good surprise has always happened to me in February. I signed with my agent in February and got my book offer in February. Month's almost half-over - come on surprise! Where are you?

7.More time for Writing! Seriously, with no distractions like summer vacations, sunshine and warm weather to frolic in there is nothing to pull you away from your computer. You can go gang-busters on that wordcount! So write, dammit!

8.Oscar-nominated movies! Usually, the Oscars happen at the end of February. This year it's early March. No matter - it just gives me a little extra time to see those great films.

9. Winter Olympics! I know - I know. This only happens every four years. But when it does it's in February!

10. Spring is around the corner! For reals! By February 28 Spring is only 3 WEEKS AWAY! If that doesn't lift the blahs you need more help than writing up a positive list.

So, how do you feel now? You know what? I feel a lot better than before I wrote the list. Just goes to show you thinking positively really can help change your perception on things. Poor February might have just moved up a couple of notches on my Top Twelve Month list. And hey! What's that I see? The sun just came out!!

Blogiversary - Reflections on a Year of Being 'Out There'

My first blog post was a year ago - February 6, 2009 to be exact. I had absolutely no clue as to what I was doing. Lots of writers I admired had been writing blogs for years. Had been writing wonderful, supportive, informative, reflective, funny, motivational posts that I loved to read, learn from and apply their advice to my own writing and publishing journey. So what was the point in starting my own blog, I thought? Really, what did I have to say, who was I saying it to and what could I possibly add? What I learned after a year of doing a blog is this: Those questions don't matter. The only question that matters is: Do you want to make connections with others and learn more about yourself - as a writer and a person - along the way?

I had no conscious thought about the direction of this blog when I started it. I first titled it Unpublished. Unfazed. Undaunted. But then, after I got my contract, I retitled it to "About to be published! About time. About the journey." I thought that's what I'd mostly write about - the rejections, the ups and downs, the waiting, the stops and starts on the writing path. And I did - and do - write about those things. But the name of the blog is "Out of the Wordwork" and I named it that because that's what I needed to start doing. I needed to get out of the word work. I'd spent years working on the words but had stayed very insular in terms of my reaching out to others in the writing community. Yes, I'd joined fabulous writers spaces like Verla Kay's Blueboards and had been a member of the Toronto Romance Writers for years. I'd taken various writer's courses and attended conferences. But I never felt comfortable sharing my thoughts on writing with more than one or two people at a time. I was definitely a fly on the writing wall of life. But as I started putting thought into what I should write for blog posts, I started to realize things about myself that I never consciously faced before. I thought I was a pessimist - but because of writing I realize I'm more of an optimist (you have to be in this business!). I never realized how persistent I was - until I started writing about how important persistance was to a writer. I never thought to see anybody stopping by to read my blog and was astounded and amazed by the people I've met through this medium. I never thought I'd ever follow blogging by also joining Twitter but I think having dipped my foot into one 'out there' pool, it was a lot easier to dip my toe into an even bigger pool. And I learned the two of them are very complimentary/supportive of each other. At least the people involved in them are.

And, by far, that has been my biggest revelation: how much writers support each other through blogs and Twitter simply by making comments like "Yay! Good for you!" or "I've been through that…" or "Hey, thanks, I learned something…" or "So happy for you…" I would never have known any of that support was out there if I hadn't put myself 'out there'.

So, if you are hesitating about starting a blog or joining Twitter or any other scary social media out there right now all I have to say is "If I can do it, you can too." Go on. Put yourself out there. You'll be amazed about what you discover about yourself and other people along the way.

We Live Who We Believe We Are

http://tonyrobbinstraining.com/468/new-year-new-life-2

A wonderful thing about Twitter - you get sent these terrific links that you'd probably never come across otherwise. The amazing Michelle Rowen retweeted this Tony Robbins link to a free video on his website that was so insipirational (duh - what else would it be. It's Tony Robbins!) - I had to write about it in a blog post.

There were dozens of quotes in this video that made me finally understand why Tony Robbins is such a force in the change your life, be who you want to be world. Yeah, there are so many "power of positive thinking" speakers and writers out there but I finally got what makes Tony Robbins different. He doesn't just say "Think and it will be" it's more like "Work at what you want to become". That message is much more empowering to me than just thinking about something.

The most important message in this video to me was about Raising Your Standards. You are only as good as what you think you are or want to do. But it's not just about raising standards. You have to back up standards with rituals. Visions need rituals. THAT's where the power is - it's the little things you do every day that help you succeed. You want to write a book? It's not enough to say that. You have to write - every day or whatever your ritual will be - to accomplish it. You want to write a better book than the last one? Raise Your Standards and figure out what will make the next book bigger, better, and stronger. The only thing that will make you happy is if you step up - always progress.

There were so many quotes to get inspiration from but here are just a choice few that resonated with me:

People are rewarded in public for what they do in private.

Great ideas don't interrupt you - you have to chase them.

Success and failure are not giant events. Failure comes from the little things we DON'T do.

There is the pain of discipline and there is the pain of regret. Which do you think is worse?

Demand more from yourself than anybody else.

It's not what we get that makes us happy - it's who we become.

So on the day that's supposed to be the most depressing day of the year, I am instead feeling hopeful, motivated and inspired. And it doesn't hurt that all the amazing writing awards like the William C. Morris, Newberry, Printz etc. were awarded to some awesome writers. Writers that are also an inspiration.

Live who you believe you are. All the rest will follow...

Positivity

One of the things I like about Twitter is getting to know new people and links to their blogs. One of the people I follow on Twitter shared a blog post from this site

www.positivityblog.com

(sorry I can't seem to make the link work yet. I'll keep trying)

A blog on how to be positive! I so needed to find this resource. I struggle on a daily basis to try and curb my natural tendency towards cynicism. Looking on the bright side is one of the harder things to achieve in my life but when I do succeed it makes a total difference in my life and my family's life.

So that's why I'm highly recommending this blog and sending positive vibes to all who strive for seeing the up side in life! Besides, any blogger who has a post on What Bruce Springsteen Can Teach You About Life has definite cred with me.

Have You Written Down Your Writing Goals?

I know a lot of people make New Year's resolutions about what they want to accomplish in their life for the coming year. I've never been a big New Year's Resolution kind of gal myself. Honestly, I don't need to deal with the guilt if I don't lose those extra ten pounds or the worry that I will never be able to keep my house clean no matter how many times I say I'll do it. Those kinds of goals are, I guess, just not that important to me (Gee, I wonder why?? :). And always having to do the goals in January? Why then? What if you suddenly get the urge to learn sky diving in August?

No matter what I think about New Year's resolutions (and, hey, if they work for you all the power to you) I do still believe in the importance of having goals. And if something is truly important to me, when there's a goal I really want to achieve, I'm a big believer in WRITING THAT GOAL DOWN. For me, writing it down is like a promise. To me or the universe, whatever, if I see the words on paper I can't avoid the promise I made.

When I started writing seven years ago I realized that I wasn't just doing this thing for fun. I was writing with the intent of one day being published. I didn't know how tough it would be or how much I would have to learn but I knew that was the goal. That was what kept me writing at one a.m. when everybody else was asleep. It was what kept me going when the rejections piled in or when manuscripts weren't turning out the way I thought they should. And to remind me of that goal, I wrote - on a little yellow sticky note that's still in the top drawer of my desk - "I want to be published by the time I'm (insert age here). You see, I always allowed for what I would do if I didn't make that goal by the time I gave myself. If I didn't make it by a certain age, well, then, I'd put in the next age where I would work toward achieving that goal.

As you can tell, I'm also a big believer that there is no failure in not reaching your goals. I do believe there is failure if you have none.

So, because I'm going to be published next year, does this mean I have no more goals? Are you kidding me? There is always something to strive for, always something to achieve. I've written two new goals on a new sticky and I've given myself a time limit for that. One of the goals is more like a hope - because I'm not sure I can influence whether it happens or not - but the other one I can definitely work towards. And, no, I'm not sharing them with anyone. Until I achieve them they are private and personal to me. No one else is accountable to those written words except me. No one else has the right to ask me how I'm doing in getting closer to those goals. Only I know. And the universe. Because, as any writer knows, the written word is a very powerful thing.

So, have you written down your writing goals yet?

Let's Try Optimism, Shall We?

I'm currently reading Michael J. Fox's autobiograpy "Always Looking Up" and, once again, I'm struck by the sheer power that a positive outlook has on a person and the people around them. I'm fascinated by optimists and I firmly believe that their attitude can create miracles. And if not miracles then at least some relatively happy, content, at peace people. So if I can see the value in a positive outlook why do I worry about things so much? Why can't I keep the promises to myself to look for the good, not the bad in life?

I mean, I've had a pretty blessed life. I'm not going to go into the count your blessings routine because we all know it. I know it but I seriously don't practice it enough. And when I do it only lasts for a few days and then a little niggle of something negative creeps in and then that's all I can think about. Part of it is genetic (if you know my mother you know she is the Queen of All Worries) part of it is just stupid habit. Just the other day a friend of mine commented on how great I looked that day. She tried to put her finger on it, wondering if it was the bright pink colour of my shirt (I don't do bright colours that often) or something else. Looking back on that lunch date I think it was because I wasn't freaking out with worry over something or other for once (usually the jist of our lunch conversations). For once I was feeling pretty zen about life. But, as you can see by my recent post I've been worrying about publishing a book and putting it out there for the world to see. Obviously my feeling of zen didn't last long. Instead of worrying about being published I should be counting my blessings that I even have this opportunity. (Here Nelsa smacks herself in the head to pound some sense into her brain)

So, let's make a pact, shall we? I'm going to look on this grand publishing adventure with a heck of a lot more optimism and a lot less worry than I've been doing lately. That goes for tackling the revisions to the WIP (yes, my agent got back to me and had some spot on comments and yes, I am taking them and making my WIP even better. Positively!)

So, I'm feeling pretty good right now. Plus, it doesn't hurt that in a few days, I'll be on vacation for two weeks. Like Michael J. Fox says, "Things are definitely looking up!" :)