Writers Face-to-Face

Last night the amazing Claudia Osmond hosted the 2nd Annual Torkidlit Christmas gathering of writers in her lovely, beautifully renovated home (BTW.I love seeing reno'd homes. Makes me think there is hope for my home!). Anyway, I can't thank Claudia enough for opening her home to quite a few of the Torkidlit writers but, more importantly, I don't know if she realizes what an important thing she started a couple of years ago when she gathered a few Toronto PB, MG and YA writers and illustrators together in a downtown Toronto pub for an evening of talk, drinking and laughter (and sometimes tears). It's become a regular monthly, must-go outing for many of us. And, for writers, once you've experience that community of like-minded individuals talking face-to-face nothing can replace it.

I know the thing now is Facebook and Twitter and writing boards. And, yes, those communities and the chance to connect virtually with writers from thousands of miles away is a wonderous and, in many ways, life-saving opportunity. But face-to-face time with other writers is SO important. There is such value in hearing the voice of the person you might have only connected to via the web. In that voice you hear the subtle nuances of the information they are trying to convey and see the facial expressions that give you so much more context. You can literally give someone a shoulder to cry on or jump up and down with them when they have fabulous news. Putting a real face to the tweets, messages, blogs, etc. then makes your virtual connection even that much stronger.

I'm not saying that Face-to-Face is better than virtual. I'm saying that it gives many writers that added human connection and understanding that we need once in a while in order to be able to slog through the hard times and celebrate the good times. Even if a writer lives in outer Siberia, if there is the faintest chance that they can attend a workshop or travel to a gathering of writers once in a blue moon, I would encourage them to do it. Sometimes, that human connection may be enough to help keep the writing fire alive. Join CANSCAIP. Join SCBWI. Join RWA. JOIN. Meet. Talk. Face to face. It's a life-line.

So, yes, thanks to the Internet, we are more connected now than ever. But also thanks to writers like Claudia Osmond (and Debbie Ohi!) for starting that Face-to-Face time here in Toronto. Thank you, ladies. Very much.

Celebrating Cinderella Ninja Warrior and Sleeping Beauty Vampire Slayer

I'm so thrilled to help my good friend and fellow #torkidlit author Maureen McGowan celebrate the release of TWO (that's right, people, you heard me TWO) new YA books: Cinderella Ninja Warrior and Sleeping Beauty Vampire Slayer. Now if those titles aren't enough to make you run to your nearest bookstore and grab them off the shelf then the concept of having kick ass heroines save themselves instead of waiting for a prince to do it for them should get your butt in gear (hmm, I seem to be writing in a very 'kick butt' oriented kind of way. I'm already being influenced by the books). Not only do you get characters you'd want your pre-teen and teen daughter to emulate, the reader also get to choose which decisions our heroines must make along the way. Romance, adventure, humour and vampires? What's not to love?

But I have to confess, while I'm very excited about the concepts of these two books and what Maureen has done with them, I'm absolutely thrilled to celebrate the fact that Maureen is the one who wrote them. Anyone who has ever met her knows what a great personality, a wealth of writerly knowledge and a true-blue friend she is but, most importantly, Maureen is a GREAT writer. She's been nominated for the prestigious RWA Golden Heart award twice for two different books. (For those who don't know, RWA is the Romance Writer's of America. Being nominated for the Golden Heart is a very big deal folks.) Now that her first books are out everyone can get a chance to see what so many of us already know: Maureen is a true class act, a very fine writer and these will only be the first of many great stories we can expect from her. I'm always thrilled to celebrate when an author has spent years honing their craft and is finally being rewarded for their patience, perserverance and passion. Maureen has all three in spades (she may suggest her patience is over-rated)and this is a big deal for all who know and love her.

So, yeah, I'm celebrating and I hope you do too. Bring on the Ninja's and the Vampire Slayer's! Maureen's books are out! Whoo-Hoo!!!

One Year Ago Today

One year ago today I was waiting for the release of my book Illegally Blonde. I wrote a blog post on the day before the release where I wrote these words

... for now I am taking a deep breath, being a bit more reflective of what this not insignificant event means and what it might - or might not - change in my life. It may not change anything in my future at all, really. But even if it doesn't I know what has led up to it has already changed me. Writing and publishing a book has opened my life up in so many different ways. I've met so many new and interesting people I'd never have had the opportunity to meet otherwise. I'm already changed, I hope, for the better. And because of that, I think I owe it to myself to reflect a little this week. To dream a little bit about the future but mostly, to appreciate my incredible good fortune on having gotten this far and understanding how special this moment really is. The past informs our future and while we can't live in it we must surely appreciate what has happened to us to get us here and to keep us going in the future. So tomorrow, when the book is officially 'out' I may just be sitting quietly at home, not doing anything much beyond spending time with my kids and husband and thinking to myself: Nelsa, you're a very, very lucky girl.

So then I was looking to the future and now I'm looking into the past and, let me tell you, it's a very interesting view. Why?

Because one year ago today I had no clue that right after my book was released my mom would be diagnosed with breast cancer. I had no idea that the stress and anxiety of planning and having a book launch would pale into insignificance when measured against the stress and anxiety about to invade my personal life for the next nine months. It was a surreal summer of celebrating a huge achievement in my writing life and also waiting with dread to hear whether my mom's cancer had spread. On one day I'd find my book was a recommended read in the Canadian Children's Book News magazine summer issue and the next day I'd be sitting in a waiting room waiting for my mom's surgery to be over. To say I was feeling exceptionally strung out would be a major understatement. Then add to that minor details like moving out of our home and my baby girl leaving for university and it's no wonder that my writing last year became something like the runt in a litter of puppies. There and still important but unfortunately neglected due to all the other stronger pups vying for the mother's limited attention.

But now, looking back on that surreal year, I think all that happened because the universe was trying to tell me that for every goal that you set for yourself and that you believe is the reason behind your life here on earth, for every mountain you think you need to climb, you need to remember that no goal is so important that it overshadows all the other stuff happening in your life. So, to all my fellow writers out there, indulge me a bit in my retrospective look back on a most momentous year and forgive me for giving some unasked for and maybe un-needed advice in the next few sentences. But if you can, please, please always remember this:

Your LIFE is about more than getting a book published. Your LIFE is joy, trauma, headaches, laughter, work, friendships, children, parents, school, vacation, bills, watching TV, walking the dog, cooking, cleaning, reading with your kid, picking out shoes with your daughters, crying, hugging your husband/boyfriend, taking a nap, going to every freaking cold hockey arena in the city to watch your kid play a game you still don't quite understand, taking your child to the dentist/doctor/optometrist, having lunch/dinner with a girlfriend, watching your mother cry with worry, sending texts to your brother, screaming in your car, singing Kanye West songs with your kids, painting a shed, writing in your journal, doing laundry, blubbering at Toy Story 3, going to the hairdresser, venting with a friend, having a glass of wine (or two), looking up at the sky and thanking God your mother is cancer free now.

So, yes, I achieved one goal by getting my book published. Yes, I'm very proud of that. But I'd throw it away in a second if I could have prevented my mom from having to go through her cancer scare last year. She made it through. I still have both my parents. I have my children and husband with me. What have I learned in the year since I became a published author?

I'm still one very, very lucky girl.

A Message for Old Man Winter

Okay, I've had it Winter. You win. I admit defeat. Day after day of cold, wind, snow and slush has ground me down. Thing is, I'd leave if I could. Fly off to some sunny, warm clime for a week and bask on a beach with a book and a gin and tonic. But between hockey, work and a renovation that is about to begin any day now (please God)I am trapped. And still weeks left of you, old man. Weeks!

So when my dearest and oldest friend sent me an email the other day suggesting she's had enough of you too, old dude, that we need a quick girl's getaway in February - nothing extravagant, just a couple of days in a hotel, shopping, maybe watching a movie, having a nice dinner, massages/facials/whatever makes us feel good - I was ready to say "YES! Get me away from this cold, hard tyrant now!"

But then I started thinking of all my responsibilities here with the kids and their schedules, how busy my husband is already between work and the reno, the cost, the guilt of leaving them ... oi. I always end up thinking of all the cons instead of just concentrating on the pros. And you, old man, don't make it any easier. Things always seem ten times harder when it's winter than summer.

But, you know what? I haven't completely given up hope, you old bugger. You haven't beaten me yet. I know I have to put up with you but you've only beaten me if my attitude lets you beat me. So when a lifeline is thrown out in a choppy sea and I'm about to drown do I let it float away from me? No sir. Even if I'm only pulled into a lifeboat for a couple of days, it will be enough to make me last the rest of your regime out. Because I know, eventually, like all tyrants you will be defeated! Spring is around the corner. I just need a reprieve for a short time.

Now, if I can just ignore the guilt like I can a snow-covered driveway...

Celebrating an Amazing Author

It is so rare to achieve any success in this writing game that when something comes along that is so amazing, so wonderful and the recipient of that success is so deserving of it it is a joy to celebrate it with them. The wonderful thing that happened today was that a fellow Torkidlit writer is a finalist for one of the most prestigious awards in Canada - the Governor General's Award. The writer is Cheryl Rainfield and the book is her searing story SCARS.


This honour is particularly special because Cheryl is, without question, one of the most supportive writers I have ever had the pleasure to meet. She is open and warm and caring of the struggle that writers - and people in general - go through. That comes from her compassionate nature and it comes from a lifetime of her own personal struggles and her ability to rise above the most horrible of circumstances to become an exceptionally positive and creative human being. Her love of books and reading enabled her to do this and it is that love that helped her write and gave the world SCARS. And now, with this nomination, even more people will be aware of the book and the story and hopefully, more teens will know they are not alone even when it seems the world has turned its back on them.

Bravo, Cheryl. I'm thrilled your book has received such an honour but mostly, my dear, I am thrilled for you. Enjoy the ride!

Strangers on a Train

I'm back from another few days away visiting my mom first then spending a couple of days with my girlfriend - the longest relationship I've had in my life outside of my family. Longer even than my husband and we'll have been married 20 years this year plus dated for several more before that. Jan and I don't see each other very often - if we're lucky once or twice a year. But, as in most friendships if they're good, you don't need frequency so much as a deep empathy and understanding that makes the few get togethers you have seem like no time at all has passed. Simply put, we get each other. We have the same sense of humour and the same types of interests in TV shows, books, movies, and musical theatre. We do differ on some things and we definitely aren't personality clones or anything (she's way more patient and understanding than I am by a long shot. Guess that's why she's my friend :) Still, we complement each other. What more can you ask of a friendship? And how vital it is to have those types of relationships. It is one of the joys in life.

Mostly those kind of relationships take time to develop. But sometimes you can connect instantaneously with the most unexpected people. I was fortunate to have both experiences happen to me this weekend: a chance to reconnect with a life-long friend and a chance encounter with a stranger on a train.

I usually don't end up talking with the person sitting beside me on my infrequent train rides. I'm too busy writing or reading to really pay much attention or put much effort into the superficial chit-chat that typically occurs during these encounters. But yesterday, for some reason, as I was writing I paused and glanced over at my seat mate. He was an older gentleman (in his late eighties as I was to find out) partially blind, using a cane, well-dressed and quiet. I remember thinking in that first quick glance: "I wonder what he's experienced in his life." I'm always especially interested in talking with senior citizens. Inevitably, there is some really fascinating thing that has occurred in their lives. They did live through the most turbulent of times during the twentieth century after all. This man was no exception.

When he saw that I'd stopped writing he smiled and asked if I was writing my memoir. I laughed and said I hadn't had nearly that interesting a life. I did say I was a writer and that started the conversation rolling since he admitted he'd often thought about writing a memoir. He told me things about his life that were the stuff of movies. How he became a doctor at age 40 and lived in the Arctic for several years with his young family while caring for the indigenous people of the area. He saw the last real evidence of how the Arctic people lived for thousands of years before the modern world began to invade. After the Arctic he lived and worked in Saudi Arabia. Before he became a doctor he spent time in Rhodesia and other parts of Africa that were still under British or Portuguese colonial rule. He told me about his adored older brother who was a bomber pilot in WWII and was shot down and killed. He spoke eloquently of how that devastated his parents - and him - to lose the shining star of the family. He told me he was still practicing cardiology though not in clinical practice because of his blindness but he still consulted with other doctors and helped patients with the psychological stress and after effects of having heart surgery. He told me he was going back to work after visiting his children - a four day train ride from British Columbia. I said, "Four days?? I hope you had a sleeper car." "No," he said. "Veterans can travel free on coach class." I looked at him, stunned. "You sat for four days on a train?" He shrugged and replied, "Those things don't bother me."

After the life he lived, I guess not.

He was an amazing, positive, awe-inspiring man. He told me that when he got to Toronto (a trip he made weekly) he was going to take the subway to a hotel I knew was at least an hour's subway and bus ride away. But, like the four day cross-country train ride, it was nothing to this fiercely independent man. I will probably never see this gentleman again but I will never forget him. In two hours he taught me so much about following your dreams, staying passionate about life and the power of the human spirit. Sometimes, a brief encounter has as much impact on you as the relationships that have sustained you for a lifetime. I treasure them both.