Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Halloween Strike

Okay, I'm going to own up to this, even if it might alienate a few people. I know it's alienated my kids when I've said it before:

I freaking hate Halloween.

Stupidest holiday EVER.

I don't like to be scared. I don't like spiders. I don't like having to stockpile candy that tempts me, hubby or my kids if I buy it too early or that stresses me out by buying it too late so I have to pay exhorbitant amounts of money when it's going to be half price the next day. I don't like fake cobwebby things on my bushes (I like to make my house look nice not run down!) I don't like carving pumpkins (messy, yucky inside stuff!). I don't like teenagers who are way too old to be asking for candy standing on my front porch with a stupid hat or old mask on as their limited attempt at costuming grunting out: Trick or treat. I find that threatening. Not cute. Most of all, I don't like feeling like a Halloween scrooge if I say I don't like Halloween.

What DO I like about it?

Well, I am a fan of zombie movies and there's tons of them to be seen at this time of year (zombies aren't scary - just gory). I do appreciate the art that goes into carving pumpkins. How do they DO those designs? Mine always look like a squirrel has gnawed on the outside shell and I've just forgotten that there's a half-chewed squash sitting on my front step. But I especially like that it's usually my husband who has taken the kids out over the years and I've stayed at home giving out the candy to cute little ones in costume while sipping a glass of wine in between door bell rings.

So this year whenThe Boy asked me: When are we putting up the halloween decorations? I thought: No. I'm on strike this year. It's one more thing I don't want to do and I don't even LIKE doing it. I grumbled and said, "Meh. We're still at the rental. I don't want to haul out the box. Can't we just have a pumpkin? I got that today! And I got the candy too!"

But not even the thrill of having several boxes of candy available made the disappointment of not having Halloween decorations more palatable. He looked at me with those big, brown eyes and said: "Can't we at least put the shaking skull outside? It scares EVERYBODY, Mom."

Sigh. "Okay. We can put up the shaking skull. But that's it!"

A little smile. "Isn't the shaking skull inside the box with all the other Halloween stuff?"

Sigh again. "Yes. Yes, it is."

A shrug. "So maybe we can put up the witch, and the skull with the flashing lights for eyes, and the scarecrow and the…"

I need a union.

And just to prove I'm not all that grumpy, here are a few pictures of amazing Halloween pumpkins my friend emailed me. These I DO like. What about you? What do you hate/love about Halloween?


  1. I used to LOVE Halloween. The first year I was in my own home and able to pass out candy, I dressed up, decorated, bought candy... and three kids showed up. Over about five hours.

    In my current house, I have not done Halloween once, so I could be president of your union. Or at least participate in the strike. :) The first years I was in this hours, I was still working at a job where I was at work until the wee hours of the morning every month end... and Oct 31st is a month end... Then I was out of town. Then a few years I went to the movies... Now I sometimes go visit my sister who has kids.

    But my neighbours must think I'm a total Halloween Grinch.

  2. I've lost some of my Halloween enthusiasm over the years. I still like pumpkins, ghost stories, candy, and the school Halloween parade. Never did like fake tombstones, skeletons, zombies, or spiders. Now that my kids are grown, I can do without the whole sitting-at-the-door-handing-out-candy thing. Going to a movie sounds like a good solution. A SCARY movie.

  3. Hey, Maureen: I'd vote for you as my president :) but somehow I don't think you're as Grinchy as you believe.

    Hi Ruth: I'm with you. Maybe when The Boy finally is over the Halloween thing I can spend the night watching zombie movies.

  4. I don't like scary movies, or spiders or grumpy, barely-disguised teenagers but I do like carving pumpkins and having an excuse to buy big bags of candy. I buy them when they're on sale and I have a coupon. Then because I'm getting such a great deal, I buy way too much. We always have tons of leftovers. Which suits my chocolate addiction just fine.
    Those pumpkin pictures are Amazing!

  5. Hi inluv! Leftover Halloween candy just doesn't happen in my house! :)