Monday, December 31, 2012

On the Eve of … What, Exactly?

Well, Happy holidays to everyone!

I hope you all had a beautiful, restful, peace-filled holiday season. I was lucky to have my family around me this year in our newly renovated house and on the occasion of my big birthday. So, I survived all that, ate too much, drank too much, slept too much and soon will be starting a new year and for the first time in a decade I’m not sure what my new year’s resolutions will be. I feel like I’m on the eve of something important but haven’t figured out what that something will be. Definitely in limbo. Which is kind of okay for me right now.

I say ‘kind of’ because I’m usually the person who needs a plan. I don’t take meandering go nowhere walks. I like to walk with a purpose. I don’t take vacations that aren’t mapped out to the tiniest detail. I shop with a purpose. I started writing with a purpose. Now I find myself a little … purposeless. It feels weird. Not bad, but weird. Like I’m a slacker or something. Like I should be forcing myself to do this or that and, for sure, to be writing something, dammit! But it's like I’ve hit the pause button. I think I need to do that right now. Life can be extremely hectic and the last ten years have been on speed dial. Where the heck did they go? If the next ten years go by that fast I don’t think I can handle it.

So, for now, I guess my New Year’s Resolution will be this:

Take each day and savour one thing slowly.

Dinner with your husband or children.

Reading a book for more than ten minutes.

Doing needlework.

Walking the dog.

Talking with an old friend.

Calling your parents

Writing when you feel like it, not because you feel guilty that you’re not.

Whatever it is, don’t rush it. Don’t be thinking of the next thing you have to do or that you’re not doing at that moment. Every moment can have meaning if you appreciate it for what it is – not what you want it to be or think it should be.

Happy 2013, everyone. Make it a meaningful year.