Tuesday, February 10, 2009

On being finished...

I wrote 'The End' today on my latest wip - a YA paranormal tenatively titled 'Unbelieveable' (it may still be retitled to 'Craving').

I gotta say, it feels good. Really good. But why is typing those two words so satisfying when I know it's not really the end? I still have to revise. I know for sure I have two new scenes that need to be added to flesh out the story more. I know I'll be re-reading and angsting over repetitious words and inadequate descriptions and and and... the list goes on.

And yet ...

I've written a novel.

I've done it before and I know I'll do it again but the fact that I've braved my doubt demons and my uncertainty about whether this is the story that will sell feels like an accomplishment to me. I didn't quit.

And yet ...

I'm still not satisfied. Does it have enough of a hook? Does it tell the story I want it to tell? Is the main character sympathetic enough without being a wimp? Is she too strong? Is the story too implausible? Are the motivations true?

One could go crazy.

And yet ...

I finished a book.

And that, over and above everything else, does mean something. I've created something out of nothing. It's still all mine without anyone having seen too much of it so it hasn't been knocked around by anyone else's doubts and criticisms. In a way, even with all its faults, this book is a pure thing. And I love it. Because it is mine.

No wonder the analogy of books being like your children is such a cliche. Because that's exactly what it is like.

I celebrate this small, wonderful achievement knowing that no matter what happens, whether it grows up and flys away from me to be a success or stays with me forever, known only to me and my close writer friends, I will always love it. No matter what its faults.

And, like a good parent, I know that at some point I will have to stop messing around with it and let it be what it is - faults and all. Because, while mine, it is its own being. And nothing is, or ever can be, perfect.


  1. Congratulations on finishing your novel! That is a HUGE accomplishment! Also, congrats on starting a blog! I know I've got a lot out of staring mine!

    Happy blogging! :0)


  2. You're such a good mommy... to both your real children and your book children :) Too bad we couldn't revise and tweak kids until they're more polished! ha ha! Seriously, way to go, my best bud Nell. Your persistence astounds and humbles me... when your books are in Indigo and a frantic mom with writing ambitions asks you, "How did you possibly fit in the time?" you can tell her about swaying side to side on the subway while embroiling your hunky heroes into every imaginable kind of hell... :)

    Love ya!

  3. By the way... you're getting the blog bug if you're already changing your template! Ha ha!

  4. Teehee. So many pretty colours and fonts and templates. Sigh... what a way to procrastinate on writing