Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Suspended Animation

So I'm almost ready to hit the send button on the final copy edits to Illegally Blonde (still double/triple checking things like my usual obsessive self). I should be very excited (and I am!) but more and more I'm feeling like I'm in a state of suspended animation. I know that as soon as I hit that Send button that will be it. I'll lose that last bit of control I've had with the book to this point. And that's as it should be. I guess, instead of just getting on with it, I'm taking the time to enjoy this last little bit of time alone with the book.

It's a scary thing sending a book off for this last part of the journey. Don't get me wrong. I know it's in great hands with Great Plains Teen Fiction.I know it will be taken care of by talented, responsible, incredibly supportive people. Yet, here I sit, not minding the waiting, liking the calm of this time and preparing myself for the unknown that launching a book will bring in the spring. But I also know that in the next few days I will hit Send and my state of suspended animation will stop. My anxiety and worry over launching a book will take over and I will wish for this time that seems so quiet now.

But I also know you get nowhere by being in a state of constant suspense. I know there will be huge, stressful, exciting changes that will replace my calm, suspended state very soon and who willingly wants to go through stress? But like my daughter said to me tonight, "What's the problem? Isn't your book being out a GOOD thing?"

Yes. Yes it is. A very good thing. Sigh.

Maybe hitting Send won't be that hard at all...


  1. I can see how that would be terrifying! But you can do it!! And congrats. :-)

  2. Wow, that is so cool - yes, hit the Send button. You'll be happy and relieved (hopefully) when you do!


  3. Thanks, Anna! Weird but it's just so hard to do!

  4. Hey Blee Bonn: I know, I know. I just have to do it! Soon, soon...