Monday, September 6, 2010

A Love Poem for My Daughter

When we said good-bye to our first born yesterday at university I had many words I wanted to leave with her. I'm a writer - I should have had the right words. But when it came time to say them not one could come out. None were right. None of them captured the feelings I had.

I'm not a poet but for the first time I felt like a poem would be the only way to capture the feelings flowing through me as my baby girl leaves home. It's not perfect but it's as close as I can get to telling her how much I love her.

This is a love poem for my daughter.

Never Before

I am watching your face as you look up at me
Holding you in my arms
As I rock you

I have never before felt such a surge of love

I am lying beside you waiting for you to fall asleep
You lean in toward me and give me a big, fat, wet with warm milk, kiss
Without me asking for it

I have never before felt such a longing to hold you forever

I am yelling at you, upset and angry over some silly thing you've done
I can't even remember what it was anymore
I find you sitting on your bed, holding your teddy bear, close to your chest
And whispering in its ear
"Mommy's not in a good mood right now, Henri. We'll just wait until she's feeling better."

I have never felt my heart break before

I watch you walking - wobbling - in your first high heel shoes and hold back a smile
Thinking how beautiful and awkward and wonderful you look
And stop myself from saying anything that might make you feel even sillier than you probably already do.

I have never before felt so helpless at the passing years

I leave you at your door with one last hug and kiss before we drive away
Knowing you are anxious and sad and excited all at once
To see us go

I have never missed you or loved you more.

All my love, forever,
Mom.

2 comments:

  1. And now I'm bawling! My daughter entered middle school this fall, so i see her growing up so fast!

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  2. Hi Laura: It does go so very fast - but I keep reminding myself, this is why we parent - to see our kids grow up, leave home and become independent. If we do things right, they'll be terrific adults. But it doesn't make the transition any harder, does it? Enjoy your little girl - she'll be a grown woman soon!

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